How to Talk & Win© 2003 Stuart Goldsmith
Most people would rather do a bungee jump into the Grand Canyon - even if they suffered from vertigo - than stand up and speak before an audience. The sight of expectant faces all waiting to hear what the speaker has to say, literally renders many people speechless with fear. Even a meeting with a bank manager, can be daunting, especially when asking for finance for the winning business venture.
And yet some people seem to ooze confidence from every pore. No embarrassing silences, fidgeting, twirling a ring restlessly round and round a finger, or any other outward signs of unease or nerves in sight. Instead, they seem poised and relaxed, even in the face of opposition to their views or requests. These people seem able effortlessly to obtain financial support for their ideas and get people to say 'yes' to buying their product. They positively radiate wealth and abundance. So how do they do it? What's their secret?
The Way to Look and Move
It takes just 10 seconds, for other people to weigh you up. And the way you look and move makes up at least 80% of their first impression of you. This is all before you utter one word, so it's essential you look like a successful 'somebody'. It's only possible to achieve this if you feel like a 'somebody'.
Meeting strangers is difficult for most people. And a business meeting with strangers, when you want to sell your idea to them, is especially daunting. A simple fail-safe technique is to pretend or imagine the person is an old friend that you're unexpectedly re-uniting with. This simple process will soften all your features and make you more amiable and approachable. Because your body language will be expressing, 'I like you', to the other person, it will endear you to them and they are much more likely to meet your requests.
Stand in front of a mirror and practice meeting a stranger as if they were an old acquaintance.
The Power of the Winning Smile
A warm smile is a powerful achieving tool. When you first meet someone, don't immediately flash a smile, they will feel extra special if you pause for a moment to get an impression of them. Then let a warm smile flood over your face and into your eyes. The split second delay convinces a person that your smile is meant only for them and that makes them feel special.
It's equally important to continually wear a pleasant look on your face. Here's a fail-safe technique so you never fall into the trap of grimacing, frowning or generally looking unfriendly.
Step 1 - Sit or stand in front of a mirror. Put your lips together and don't move them. Look at your face in the mirror concentrating on the eyes. They are lifeless.
Step 2 - Now lift up the corners of your mouth and watch your eyes come alive. This gives you a natural casual look which should be used at all times to give a pleasant look to your face.
Four Talking Tips
Looking into the eyes of the person you're having a conversation with plants confidence that you're concentrating on them and not elsewhere. It's very flattering when someone gives you their undivided attention. So keep strong eye contact - it broadcasts a message of understanding while making the recipient feel closer to you.
If you want to bring people around to being interested in what you have to say or show them, first evaluate their mood and voice tone. If they're really relaxed, immediately pitching in about your idea or product, might be too aggressive and destroy your chances of obtaining what it is you want from them. If they're in a state of nervous tension from being far too busy for comfort, understand and sympathise with them, if only for a minute, before talking about your business needs. Maintaining eye contact you should be able to register if your listener gets bored or excited during conversations. Be sympathetic to the other person's needs.
Monosyllable answers of yes and no don't usually achieve desirable results. For example, let's take the question, 'where do you come from?' It's far more revealing and interesting if instead of just answering, 'Crantock', the answer was, 'Crantock. It's a small Cornish village, famous for smuggling during the 16th century.'
This answer opens up possibilities for the other person to comment on. It also reveals a lot about you. By demonstrating a willingness to share deeper thoughts with someone else, it makes them feel special and endears them to you.
Take an Interest
How people comment or answer you, reveals a lot about themselves. Supposing you were trying to sell your idea for a film and you made this comment, 'we fully intend to make a film of this story,' and your film industry contact replied, 'the latest Bond movie was amazing.' From that reply with just a little careful digging you could find out exactly why they thought that particular Bond movie was amazing. Did they like the director? Or was it a character? Or maybe it was an actor or actress? Once you know the answer, there may be a link that you could use for your project. For example, if you discover that it was an actor they particularly liked, there may be a part in your film perfect for that favoured actor.
If that was the case, you could suggest this actor be approached to play the part. Immediately, the other person's really interested and excited about your project, and if the meeting had been to obtain finance for the film, you would have just increased the chances of getting what you needed.
So, whether you've got an appointment with your bank manager or other investors, or a meeting to sell your idea, you know you can meet these people full of confidence, sure you'll stay relaxed and poised, knowing you can talk to win.
Clients pay $4500 a day to hear Stuart Goldsmith's hard-hitting marketing advice. Legendary copywriter Gary Halbert recently described him as "The second best copywriter on the planet!" His sales letters and adverts have made him many millions of dollars. In his startling free action guide "Double Your Way To A Million", Stuart shows how you can change nothing into $1,310,720 without any capital, simply using your wit, imagination and your natural abilities.
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